Day 25 – What Part of Go Take Care of It, Don’t You Understand? Part 2
25 Elul 5769
“What Part of Go Take Care of It, Don’t You Understand?” Part 2
Matthew 5:23-24 (The Message Bible) This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.
As we moved into early fall, our conversations began to unthaw but not before, we had a short verbal sparring which startled me. Fortunately, my husband who was in the other room heard our exchange and was able to offer some objectivity to the situation after she left.
I began by saying, “Did you hear that?” Her response surprised me but Mike’s answer offended me. I could not believe what I was hearing. My husband of just shy of five years, was telling me that (based on the conversation he had heard from the other room), I may be the reason why my BFF had responded to me negatively and abruptly ended the conversation.
He went on to say, “I know what you were trying to say but the way you were saying it, seemed to dismiss her idea – like yours was more important.
I came into the living room, looking for support (not feedback). What I got instead was – an unbiased, objective perspective AND IT WAS MOST UNWELCOMED – on my part. (No, he di’int just take her side!)
The little weeds of hurt that were planted in my heart during the summer of silence had sprouted into fiery bitter darts. Oh, I was mad and fully offended. (Who died and made him almighty communicator?) Mike says that he still remembers the look I gave him. As, he should… 😉
I fumed for hours but had to concede that my husband loved me and meant me no harm. And the BFF – well… we considered her a beloved member of the family. So now what do I do?
In my heart, I kept hearing “What part of go take care of it, don’t you understand?” I had to go make things right on my end. It was my turn to apologize for hurting her. Not my intention but that was her experience and I was truly sorry.
Shortly after we did meet and talk things out. What was obvious to her – “something she felt I should have known” unfortunately was not obvious to me. It took a verbal sparring on the back porch (a week before) to bring the hurt and pain we were both still feeling up to the surface. The passage of time (during the summer) had not healed the wounds. Making nice and tip toeing around our conversations did not fix the problem. Healing came when we both came together in humility to remove the offenses that threatened to destroy our friendship. It was not easy but it was worth it.
Do you hear the shofar sounding… “What part of go take care of it – don’t you understand?”
We can’t assume people know, that they are hurting us. Nor can we assume people KNOW how to tell us that they are hurting because of something we said or did. It works both ways.
Whoever is at the altar (hopefully it’s both of us) and remembers or has some inkling that something may be amiss – leave your gift (G-d will still be there) and go be reconciled with your friend or loved one. It may be a rough road ahead. You may have to come to terms with some things about yourself that’s OBVIOUS to others but a blind spot for you.
Our Heavenly Father is serious about relationships and expects us to treat one another with love, respect, dignity and understanding. We are HIS children and as such, His Ambassadors. Reach out to someone who has hurt you or you have hurt and do the work of reconciliation. Partner with G-d in the Healing of the World.
It will make His Heart Smile.