21 ELUL 5768
Is my sin worse than your sin? Is your sin worse than my sin? Am I a better person because I don’t sin the way others do? Or does this very attitude put me into another category of sin – self-righteousness?
We all need forgiveness, mercy and lovingkindness regardless of the flavor of sin we choose.
Think about it…
Matthew 6:12 | Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
20 ELUL 5768
“Can’t we all just get along?”
Reconciliation can be a complicated process and most of us, don’t know how to do it very well. Our fears, memories and propensity for “doing what we have always done“ can hinder the healing process in a relationship. I believe the following story illustrates this point.
STARTING AGAIN
Two men come to a rabbi asking for help to settle a problem.
Both are angry at each other and neither will apologize.
The rabbi says:
OK, at the count of 3, both of you extend your hands and shake.
OK, 1, 2, 3.
Very good, says the rabbi but now you have to say something.
In Judaism it’s not enough to just shake.
Now which one of you will say something to the other?
OK, said one man, I’ll start.
I wish for you everything in the new year that you wish for me.
The other man responds:
You see, Rabbi, he’s starting up again.
-Author unknown
Resolve with all of your heart to “startup again” the right way.
Romans 12:17, 18 | Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
19 ELUL 5768
STEP FOUR: RESOLVE (TO NEVER COMMIT THE SIN AGAIN)
Beginning again, with a fresh resolve in the heart to do things differently:
- Reconnects us to our Creator
- Heals the soul and
- Repairs the world
Even if your efforts have been futile in the past, never weary of trying. Learn from the past mistakes, and start all over again wiser than before. Tikkum O’lam (The Healing of the World) is a worthy cause. It is Hashem’s cause.
Don’t give up – Hashem has not.
Psalm 145:8 | The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.
18 ELUL 5768
STEP THREE: Confess Your Sin – Part III
Psalm 51:10 | Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
17 ELUL 5768
STEP THREE: CONFESS YOUR SINS – Part II
Have you ever talked SO MUCH about doing something that you actually thought you were doing it? Case and point, years ago I purchased a gym membership and attended faithfully the first couple of months. Then I fell off the wagon. I still carried my gym bag in the car and my membership card in my wallet and consequently continued to say in discussions with others I work out. This stop the day I overheard my boss telling a client that I worked out all the time at the gym.
It was weird hearing it from someone else. I was stunned, it had been at least six months if not more since my feet had crossed the threshold of the sports facility. I did not realize I had talked so much about working out that I ACTUALLY BELIEVED I WAS DOING IT.
In recent days, I had to pull back again and give myself a once over. Have I acted on what I know or am I still thinking, talking, praying and … even blogging about it? BUT NOT DOING.
I looked at the woman in the mirror and did not let myself forget what I saw. I started doing what I know to do. It has delayed my blogging and I am better for it. It feels good to actively participate with Hashem in the healing of the world.
I hear the sound of the Shofar reminding me to ACT on what I already know.
James 1:22-25 | 22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.
16 ELUL 5768
STEP THREE – CONFESS YOUR SINS | Part I
OK – I am “fessin up” about confessing my faults. In truth, this is the most difficult step in the Teshuvah process for me. I’m ok with stopping, and regretting but if I have to say what I did – Urgh! my stomach goes into knots. And let me be the first to say – it is easy to FESS UP to G-d but if I have to fess up to others about a sin, attitude, behavior - the process begins to slow way down.
During this month, I have several letters I have to write. It is embarrassing that it has taken me this long but I am actively working on what needs to be done.
Fessin Up – Is the Required Action of the Day.
Psalm 38:18 | For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin.
15 ELUL 5768
STEP TWO: REGRET YOUR SIN
I was visiting the deep heart of Texas one summer with my sister and our grandparents. As my sister and I were walking up the dirt road that led back to madear’s home we came across a colony of red ants. The ants had created a hole in the dirt and the dirt pile encamped around the hole. My eleven year old mind thought it would be fun to kick the dirt and scatter it across the road.
Regret filled my heart when I saw the ants move quickly to rebuild what I had torn down. What had taken me less than five seconds to destroy would take the ants hours upon hours to rebuild. I was so convicted, I began moving the sandy granules of dirt back to the original location. I regretted what I had done and I have never forgotten that feeling of remorse. To this day, I remind my children not to disrupt or destroy bug life unnecessarily.
Regret is healthy if it leads us to change our behavior. It can be debilitating if there is no hope for change and redemption. Healthy regret is good for the soul; it is the portal to rebuilding what we purposely or thoughtlessly destroyed.
We all need a good dose of healthy regret. It will keep us honest about our imperfections and provide the needed motivation to change and protect others from the worse par of ourselves.
14 ELUL 5768
STEP ONE: STOP THE SIN (There must be 50 Ways to leave your ….)
The first step in the Teshuvah process is stopping the sin, the behavior that is separating us from Hashem. BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
What is the exit strategy out of stubborn habits, stinking thinking and seductive temptations? I have noticed that whenever I am feeling stuck (in a sin, habit or negative thought), more often than not I do not have an exit strategy that addresses every part of me – spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially. I need a plan – if I want to experience freedom.
What’s the Plan? It reminds me of the song by Paul Simon, (There must be) 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover.
Consider how the words may apply to your experience with STOPPING.
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover (habit)
Fifty ways to leave your lover (sin)
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
and get yourself free
GET YOURSELF FREE
GET YOURSELF FREE
I Corinthians 10: 13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
BOTTOMLINE: GET YOURSELF FREE – BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY
13 ELUL 5768
As humans we mess up – sometimes out of ignorance, sometimes out of stupidity, and other times because we are just plain hard headed. We can’t and just don’t get it right all of the time.
It’s Time To Make A U-Turn.
In the gospels, Jesus told a parable about the prodigal son. If you follow the story closely, you will see the son returning to his father’s house. He walked through the process of Teshuvah. What did he do? What steps did he take?
12 ELUL 5768
When I was around seven or eight years old, I did something that shocked my family out of moral complacency. I cursed a man out because he repeatedly refused to allow his niece to come out and play with me. (Hmm…, I wonder what gave him concern). My cousin, Tom who is three years older than me – jerked his head towards me in shock as the words came spewing forth out of my mouth. Without hesitation, this ringleader of mischief broke the code of juvenile honor and immediately went home to tell his mother, my Aunt Gloria.
Now Aunt Gloria does not believe in spanking children. I can’t remember her ever giving any of us a spanking EXCEPT for me on that fateful day when I lost my pre-adolescent mind. My actions shocked her out of making nice with bad behavior, and with her house shoe she spanked me all the way back to the house of the verbally assaulted fellow (who I don’t believe was shocked at all) to deliver a very repentant “I’m sorry for saying all those mean things.” After my heartfelt apology, I was spanked all the way back down the street, into the apartment and into my room. I cried myself to sleep
Now for those of you who are freaking out about child abuse – believe me – this was not one of those situations. I still remember feeling very sorry for what I had done and the spanking (not beating) given by someone I knew who loved me, brought home the gravity of my actions. It is one of my earliest memories of embracing the Gift of Repentance. I realized I had done wrong. I wanted to make it right.
In my lifetime, I have experienced many opportunities to embrace the Gift. The most frightening times have been when I have seen what was in my heart – a stubbornness, an anger, or selfishness and I did not want to change. Sometimes it was blatant rebellion and other times it was very subtle compromises. In any event what startled me most times back to my senses was my refusal to change in the moment. Even my rational thinking brain would begin stating “you know you are not in your “right mind” because if you were thinking straight you would ….”
I pray my heart is always soft and responsive to the convictions of the Lord. It’s not easy being corrected. I just hope I can receive correction and reproof graciously – regardless of how it may come.
Isaiah 57:15 | For this is what the high and lofty One says— He who lives forever, whose name is holy: ”I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.
